I know this is my third blog post in a very short space of time but I just had to write it. I’ve just come home after giving someone their drawing, the first commission I have ever done.
It was someone I knew, a colleague and a friend and the drawing was of his auntie who will have passed away a year ago this week. I was so unbelievably scared as it was my first one and I didn’t know how he would react. Would he like it or would it be nothing like he thought and not worth any money at all? When you stare at a sketch book for hours and a pencil lead on paper it all starts to blur together. It’s not a person, it’s that little individual square and that darker blotch and that bright spot. Its pieces that come together like a jigsaw and there’s always a chance that jigsaw won’t turn out like you thought it would.
As I walked into the shop, my workplace and his, my tummy was doing flips.
I got the most amazing reaction I could have ever wished for. As soon as he saw it his eyes filled up and he had the biggest smile I have ever seen. He could barely speak and his hands were trembling and I got pulled into a hug.
It humbles me to think that my drawings could bring that much emotion to a person. It’s never happened to me before but it’s been something I have strived for. I want my art to mean something so I pick emotive projects but I never thought something I have drawn could capture that subjects spirit so much it could reduce a grown man to tears.
When I talk about my art I usually get embarrassed or feel big headed but I do have a talent. It took me a long time to admit it. I can draw. And although I may see a billion things wrong with my drawings and I know there’s techniques I want to try and things I want to improve on, I am still an artist with the ability to produce a beautiful picture. My grades even prove that. It just took me a while to realise.
I am so over the moon with the response I got today and I will never ever forget it. I will aim for that emotion and that happiness with every piece of art I do. It’s a beautiful feeling and I can’t thank my colleague enough for trusting me with such a special drawing for a special person.
Love Rebecca x