Relationships

Surviving the Distance 

Long distance relationships are something that is becoming more acceptable and common in our society through platforms such as Twitter, Facebook, Tinder and personally I’m all for them! 

Four years ago I was followed by a girl on Twitter with similar interests to mine, just another number in my list of ever growing followers. In the midst of boredom I asked if anyone wanted to Skype and this girl said yes. A year later we had decided to give a long distance relationship a go and now three years on we’re getting ready to move in together! I’m not an expert on relationships, especially at the age of 19 but long distance can be done if you have the strength to do it. It was hard, sometimes all I wanted was a cuddle from the person I loved but I had to wait and it’s very trying! Sometimes you feel like just giving up and saying ‘nope this is way too hard, not for me thanks!’ But when you love someone you’ll try anything to be with them so I’ve put together this wee list of things you can do to make long distance relationships easier that I’ve learned throughout my three years of long distance. 

Contact: Keeping in contact is possibly the most important part of any relationship, not just a long distance one but in this case it’s even more important to stay in contact. With long distance relationships you don’t have the luxury of waiting until after work/ school/college to see your partner so chatting during the day will help you feel closer to them and help you feel more involved in their daily life. Don’t just stick to one type of contact, change it up between texting, phone calls and video calls to keep things fresh and fun! It’s also always nice to come home after a long day and see your partners face! But be careful- avoid excessive communication, find a balance! 

Honesty is the best policy: This may seem like yet another obvious point but honesty is one of the basic stepping stones to a strong relationship. Not being able to physically be there and see your partner takes away that ability to read their body language so be open and truthful, talk about secrets, goals, thoughts feelings, insecurities with each other so you can work on making your relationship strong and you can support each other. 

Keep in mind that texts can have different interpretations: Many an argument can be caused over text particularly because you can’t hear the other persons tone of voice which can cause massive issues. If in doubt it’s always safer to phone or even better video call but if you have to text stay calm and ask your partner what they mean. 

Make plans: Make plans to see each other as often as you can. It is expensive if flights and trains are involved which can prevent some people from seeing their loved one but try your best to save up and make trips to each other. When you have booked a trip plan outings and events so you get to spend quality time together and have fun! 

Countdown: Having a countdown on your phone or on a calendar helps build excitement for your upcoming trip to see your partner and gives you something to look forward to! You can get loads of apps for your phone so have a look and see what suits you. 

Surprises, letters and presents: There’s nothing like receiving a good old fashioned, hand written letter from your partner to improve your mood. Since the days of social media began the art of letter writing has been lost but it’s a really beautiful way to put your thoughts down and you also have a physical copy to cherish forever which you don’t get with texts. You could also try hand made presents as a way to remind your partner of why you love them.

Enjoy alone time: Just because your partner isn’t there doesn’t mean you’re alone. Enjoy spending time with your family and friends especially if you’re having a particularly lonely day. Stay busy, start up a new hobby, go on a walk, play with pets, you’re not alone! 

Remember long distance relationships are possible as long as you and your partner are committed and they can be just as rewarding as relationships where you’re with your partner every day!  Stay positive and focus on the little things that make you smile! 

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