Since returning to England to begin year one of my degree course in Fine Art I feel I’ve really changed as a person. I haven’t fully been able to understand why. I was miserable last year in Norwich and was happy to return home however at home I still felt a little down and in the wrong place. I felt like something was missing and I have thought about the possibility that thing was my girlfriend but I should have been so content to have been home with my family who I missed so much while I was away.
Having only moved to my new home less than 2 weeks ago I have thought that this could be the calm before the storm. I could jinx myself by saying this yet again but I’m still incredibly happy and content (despite our lack of house wifi- thanks BT).
I don’t formally start university until next week so I’ve been trying my hardest to keep busy. I’ve been setting daily tasks particularly of things I may not get done once I start university and have a full timetable. I’ve been eating a little better however I’m still prone to a tub of Ben and Jerry’s when the wifi turns off yet again after tricking us into believing it will stay on for more than an hour this time.
I’ve been trying to keep fit by going out walking although I do walk a lot more away from home anyway as I don’t have my own personal taxi service courtesy of my parents. This means I’m getting the chance to clear my head and keep fit all at the same time. I’ve gone back to gymnastics which I was doing every so often last year despite the fact I am unable to do a forward roll and my legs don’t stretch beyond 90degrees. I find this a really positive experience when I eventually can do something for example I tried over the summer holidays to build up my chicken arms and its paid off as I can actually hold myself on bars for longer than 0.5 seconds. I’ve recently learned to swing myself on bar which is a massive change and I can almost get myself up on the lower bar.
On top of all this I went against my gut instinct and began apply for jobs. I’ve had a job since the age of sixteen but decided not to apply for anything more than a christmas temp job last year as it would prevent me from visiting Tarryn and not loosing my mind. This year, after much deliberation and chats from my mum about adult hood I dusted the cobwebs off my CV and began handing out the updated version. I haven’t been hired as of yet but I have had phone calls so watch this space!
All in all I feel on top of things for the first time in a long time including my emotions which is an incredible feat considering the current wifi situation. No more wasted time and no more moping about waiting for things to improve. I am on top and actively searching for my happy ending whilst simultaneously enjoying the ride. Things couldn’t be better!
Header photo by Tarryn Richardson Photography